when life gives you lemonade
by of ocean-blue storms
Summary: Felicity is kidnapped. The Count wants answers. Oliver must replace her window. Oh, and she's hungry, too, did she mention?


**when life gives you lemonade**

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Felicity is kidnapped. The Count wants answers. Oliver must replace her window. Oh, and she's hungry too, did she mention?

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'Um. I didn't have lunch. Can I get a sandwich?'

'No.'

'What about a burger? Big Belly does the best –,'

'No.'

'Well, then –,'

'NO! You can't have a burger or a sandwich or anything else!'

'Why not?'

'BECAUSE YOU ARE MY HOSTAGE, DAMN IT.'

'There's no need to yell,' Felicity rolls her eyes and leans against the chair, slowly untying the ropes. 'Plus, there's no point doing this. The Hood doesn't even know who I am so you might as well let me go.'

The Count heaves a sigh and presses two fingers against his temples, counting back down from ten under his breath. 'For the last time, I have not kidnapped you to lure The Hood, though that would be an added bonus. I have kidnapped you so you will do me the quiet favour of hacking into Starling City's police network.'

'Like hell, I'm going to do that for a convicted felon,' Felicity retorts and the barrel of a gun is suddenly pressed against her head. 'Um, what did you say you wanted again?'

'That's much better,' The Count drawls happily. He presses the gun deeper and gently steers Felicity's chair to her computer.

They're in Felicity's apartment, at her desk, where her computer screams bright lights and damn it, it's ten o'clock and she should be in bed by now because she's got work tomorrow! Felicity despairs as she remembers how The Count snuck in through her window, his coat billowing out behind him like Severus Snape, and proceeded to tie her up in her own chair.

Felicity's fingers rest on her beloved keys and she takes a shaky breath. A plan – she needs a plan. Why can't she think of a plan? Oh, that's right; she's got a_ gun pressed against her head_!

'Felicity…'

'Mmm?'

'I'm waiting.' The Count taps his gun against the desk lightly and his eyes scan Felicity carefully.

Felicity takes a breath. 'No,' she says, shaking her head. She's going to die, she's going to die, she's going to –

'_No_?' he repeats.

That's it. She's deader than a doornail.

'N-no. Um. Yes. I mean, no. No. I will not help you.'

'And why not?'

His voice is silky soft as the words fall smoothly from his calm lips. The Count pulls up another chair and leans into it, looking interested.

Felicity swallows tightly. 'Because you're a criminal. Obviously. So I – I can't help a criminal because it's bad and I'd go to prison and seriously, I do not look good in bright orange –,'

'Why not?'

'Well, because it totally washes me out and makes me look all pasty and –,'

'Not that!' The Count snaps. 'I want a proper reason! Indulge me, Felicity.'

'Um, well, you're _crazy_,' Felicity offers and instantly berates herself; she's sure the rules of being a hostage include not telling your kidnapper that he's insane. 'I mean, have you seen yourself lately? You tried to poison this entire city with vertigo – _twice_. You were going to kill The Hood –,'

'You have a pleasant fascination with the city's vigilante, don't you, Miss Smoak?' The Count comments lazily.

'What happened to Felicity, Mr Cou- wait, what's your name? Is it Count something or just The Count or –,'

Her window smashes.

Fragments of piercing glass shatter and spray all over her sitting room as The Hood surges through, crashing into her sofa. He gets up almost instantly, seeming to realise his surroundings, glancing around.

'You could've used the front door, like everybody else,' is Felicity's response until she realises who her visitor is.

'Mr Vigilante, if you please?' The Count snaps. 'We're, kind of, in the middle of something.'

'No, we're not!' Felicity can't actually tell because of the hood, but she thinks The Hood glances from The Count to her, sizing up the situation. 'Um. Hi again,' she says, giving him a sheepish wave.

The Count gapes at Felicity as her ropes fall to the floor in a tangled heap and mutters, 'But I used the Boy Scout's double knot! It never fails!'

'Sorry, dude, but I was a Girl Guide,' Felicity shrugs.

The Hood lets out a familiar chuckle once again and as he throws a quick glance toward the window, he seems to acknowledge the damage he's done. 'Sorry,' he rumbles.

Felicity follows his gaze and gapes. 'Oh my god, are you _insane_? You may be a crime-fighting, police-helping, window-breaking vigilante but you _have_ to fix that! Otherwise, I swear to you, I will find out who you are and kick your butt!' she pauses, thoughtfully and amends, 'Actually, I might not be able to do that because even the old ladies laughed at me in those self-defence classes I took last year but I have heels, buster!'

The Count clears his throat and presses the gun against Felicity's head, stopping her from getting up. 'Excuse me. Crazy guy with a gun here.'

The Hood's shoulders tense and he assures Felicity, 'Don't worry. I've got this.'

'You'd better! This gun is really cold. Or is that the broken window?'

An arrow is instantaneously nocked, the bow singing wildly as The Hood targets The Count carefully. 'Step away from her,' he says. 'And you won't get hurt.'

The Count tilts his head and seems to weigh his options. 'One moment.'

In an instant, he's up and he's away, throwing himself out of Felicity's broken window with a maniacal cackle and Felicity watches as The Hood shoots arrow after arrow. An arrow sinks into The Count's arm but he's still up and he manages to get away.

'He got away on your Tarzan swing thingy!' Felicity's mouth falls open. 'Isn't that a form of copyright or something?'

She gets up from her chair as The Hood chuckles lightly, stops to speak but chuckles again. 'Oh. And um, thank you,' she adds but The Hood backs away.

'The hood is there for a reason, Felicity. You cannot know my identity.'

'Do you always talk like that? All deep and brooding?'

The Hood can't stop himself now. He bursts into laughter. 'Your window will be fixed by tomorrow.'

The curtains billowing fiercely in the wind, The Hood leaps out of the window, as Felicity looks after him and shivers. 'But it's cold…'

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**fin**

**A/N: **Yup, procastinating, I mean, taking very short, very revision-healthy breaks here. I hope you enjoyed this one! Guess I managed to get out that Olicity fanfiction, after all, huh? Oh, this story is sort of a link to_ and well, she dances like nobody's watching_.


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